Thank goodness it's Friday. Everyone have a great weekend. Here we have some Latina whore shakin' her large ass for a crowd of children!
Friday, February 27, 2009
A Must Have
We stumbled upon this ingenious contraption called the Alcohol Shot Gun while perusing Urban Trend and we must have one.... Bang Bang! You're drunk!"Armed with the Alcohol Shot Gun, you can re-enact the most memorable movie scenes from “Dirty Harry” to “Matrix”. “Do you feel lucky, sucker” is the only question? Pour in an ounce of your favorite drink into the cartridge, cock the trigger, point and shoot."

Estate Sale
Our Twitter friend and loyal Jacksonville Confidential reader WWhiteside is moving to San Francisco soon and is having a HUGE estate sale tomorrow, Saturday, February 28th, from 8am until 3PM at 4560 Ramona Boulevard. He promises to have a plethora of great deals on items like furniture, antiques, fine art, linens, and who knows what else. Hope to see you there!

Separated at Birth
This was all Linda's idea, we swear, but HOLY CRAP was she right on the money. Doesn't Mike Stowers (one of the owners of Blue Buddha Exotic Foods) look just like that guy the police are looking for from last weeks Wachovia Bank Robbery in Arlington? Mike better watch his back until the real suspect is apprehended.

S. Darko - Trailer
Here the studios go again, going too far, effin up a good thing. We have, below, the movie trailer for S. Darko, the sequel to one of our top fave movies of all time Donne Darko, and it looks absolutely TERRIBLE. Maybe the worst part of the entire thing is that creepy ass "Rhonda" from Big Love, Deveigh Chase, plays the title role of "Samantha Darko". Elizabeth Berkley ("Jesse" from Saved by the Bell) is also in the movie and that is never a good sign. Yes, Gossip Girl fans....Ed Westwick is in the movie, NO he's not gonna make it any better. Check it out.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Gay
Did you guys catch this gay-ass performance by American Idol hopeful Nick Mitchell on last nights show? Seriously, just watch. He better not go through to the next round after tonight.
Celebrity Apprentice 2
NBC's Celebrity Apprentice is back with 16 new stars playing for the chance to win a large sum of money for charity. The new cast is as follows: Clint Black, Andrew Dice Clay, professional poker player Annie Duke, Tom Green, LPGA golfer Natalie Gulbis, figure skater Scott Hamilton, noted motorcycle enthusiast Jesse James, professional suitcase holder Claudia Jordan, Khloe Kardashian, Brian McKnight, Joan Rivers and Melissa Rivers, Playboy bunny Brande Roderick, Dennis Rodman, Heisman Trophy winner and former Dallas Cowboys running back Herschel Walker, and Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins. Quite the cast and we can't wait. Here's a sneak peak.
Welcome to Florida
Authorities are investigating a possible child abuse case involving a Deltona, Florida family featured on the reality television show "Supernanny" that aired on February 13th. Click Here to read the full story from the Miami Herald and watch below and decide for yourself if there's any abuse going on.
Separated at Birth
After gazing at yesterdays Separated at Birth for way too long we realized that we might have been wrong. That chick doesn't look like Priscilla Allen from Total Recall, rather, she is the spittin' image of Anne Ramsey from such classics as Throw Momma from the Train and The Goonies, right?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009
2009 Jax Irish Fest
The 2009 Jax Irish Fest is right around the corner, Saturday, March 14th, at Metropolitan Park from 1PM-11PM. Tickets are $10 for adults and $2 for kids under 10. The website boasts low low prices on beer and offers a complete list of events for the day, Click Here for full details.

Pet Shop Boys "Love, etc"
The Pet Shop Boys' newest CD Love, Etc. doesn't drop until March 23rd but we've got the first release from the CD right here for you right now; the title track "Love, etc.". God we love these guys.
Obama's Speech to Congress
If any of you guys missed President Obama's first speech to the US Congress last night, we've got the entire video here for you to watch. There are a few good points but, in general, Obama was quite vague. Judge for yourself.
Roller Derby 2009
We've been telling you guys about our local Local Roller Derby girls, the Jacksonville Roller Girls, for quite a few years now and it seems that some of you still haven't gone to check out a bout. Trust us, it's a blast and now is the time to start thinking about it. The Jacksonville Roller Girls 2009 Season is here! Sunday, March 8th, the skates will fly as the Duval Derby Dames take on the River City Rat Pack at the Rollout Bout. The fight for Duval’s love will take place at Mandarin Skate Station (3461 Kori Road). Doors open at 6:30pm and the bout will begin at 7:00pm. Ticket prices are $10.00 in advance and $12.00 at the door. Single event tickets and Season Tickets can be purchased at Brown Paper Tickets or from one of your local roller derby girls. Season tickets get you 3 home bouts free and are on sale now for a limited time! For more information contact the Mandarin Skate Station at (904)880-7703 or visit Jacksonville Roller Girls. Roller Derby is rated M for mature due to adult content, violence and strong language. Here's the full season schedule....

Separated at Birth
We thought that actress Priscilla Allen passed away last August. But by the looks of this Separated at Birth sent over by an anonymous reader, she's alive and kicking and right here in Jacksonville. "Who is Priscilla Allen", You ask, well you guys probably remember her from her most notable roll as "Vengador del futuro" (per IMDB) in the Arnold Schwarzenegger blockbuster movie Total Recall. Take a look.

Objectum Sexuality
Alright, we admit it. YES! We watch Nip/Tuck, please don't ask why. We know it's total trash and last nights episode pretty much took the cake. Here's a short synopsis on what happened.... Okay, so now that you are caught up with all that insanity, we have a short documentary for you guys to watch on people who actually do this kind of shi*t IN REAL LIFE. Please watch. What is wrong with people?Christian has cancer and is getting married to Liz (yes, the lesbian) so he is quitting the practice forcing Sean to seek out a new partner to continue his plastic surgery business with. The prime candidate for the position turns out to be a gentleman suffering from Objectum Sexuality disorder, which means that he was in love with inanimate objects. In this instance, a couch in Dr. Troys office. Needless to say, right in the middle of making sweet love to the retro green tweed couch, Dr.'s Troy and McNamara both walk in and witness the performance. They are both disgusted and force him out of the partnership, and office. On his was out, the OSD Dr. can't pass up the beautiful surgery table in the operating room and we last see him pounding the bottom out of it, lots of ass shots in true Nip/Tuck form.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Another Reason to Loathe The McCords
This evening on the Real Housewives of New York City we got a really special treat. Our least favorite couple from the show, Simon and Alex, decided to take a visit to the "Atlantic Coastline" to walk on the beach and totally rank on how sh*tty our beaches are compared to "St. Barts" and "Australia" and, of course, Simon had to give a short lesson on Speedo etiquette. Thank GOD he rethought his decision to run around in his banana-hammock and changed into a pair of swim trunks instead. We didn't want you guys to feel left out in case you missed the disgusting display, so we took it upon ourselves to photo log the entire 10 seconds. Here's a quick run-down for you. Honestly, Speedo's are NEVER appropriate for any occasion EXCEPT competition. PERIOD!






Engrish
A few staff members wanted to pop in to Cilantro (Indian Cuisine) (9825 - 6 San Jose Blvd.) in Mandarin on Saturday to try it out because we've heard such wonderful things about the restaurant. However, to our dismay, the eatery is currently "close for renovation", but you know we didn't leave empty handed. The owners were nice enough to provide us with a little Engrish. Check it!

Downtown Jax Dance
Downtown Jax Dance is a group of ladies living in Downtown Jacksonville, Florida interested in keeping in touch with their inner dancer. Focusing on hip hop and jazz styles of dance, this group meets 2x - 4x a month in Downtown Jacksonville, Florida. Every dancer has the opportunity to choreograph and teach her own dance to the group. The dances will be recorded and posted on YouTube so the choreography comes life! Below is the very first video posted by Downtown Jax Dance and if the others are gonna be anything like this one we are definitely going to keep you guys up to date on new videos posted. Why are we laughing so hard right now?
Duval Pretty Boys "Crank Dat Pretty Boy"
We don't supaman no mo'! That's what the Duval Pretty Boys be sayin in dey newest music video for Crank Dat Pretty Boy filmed out at Jacksonville Beach by Los2K6. Honestly, we're kinda diggin' this, don't tell anyone.
Oscar Party Video
If you missed the Oscar Party at the 5 Points Theatre this past Sunday, you're in luck. The Florida Times-Union was on the scene filming and we have the video for you right here. It looks like everyone had a wonderful time and and we're sorry we couldn't make it.
Stairway to Stardom
This clip is from a cable access show way back in 1981 and, yes, it's for real. This is no joke. Enjoy Gloria Huddle's heavenly version of the Manhattan Transfer's song Operator. "Operator, information, please connect me with a man!"
What Happens in Vegas......
We are all over Craigs List today. Faithful Jacksonville Confidential reader Amber sent us over the link to another CL post all the way from Las Vegas. Not much else to say, just read it. What happens in Vegas......

Fill in the Gaps
Mark sent us over a link to the Craigs List Ad below that was posted on Sunday. Listen people, if you don't know who you went home with, where you went, and what happened this past Saturday night you may not want to advertise the fact that you're a total whore on Craigs List. And really dude, you drove? We're just sayin...

Paula Deen's Britches Fall Down
First of all, the word britches totally cracks us up. Anyway, food network guru and owner of the fabulous restaurant The Lady and Sons in Savannah, Paula Deen, was in Miami last week for the 2009 Food Network South Beach Wine & Food Festival and was having a bit of trouble keeping her pants up during her expo. She must be cutting back on all the butter and losing some weight. Take a look.
Hovan Mediterranean Gourmet - Review
We apologize for taking so long to post this but we finally found the pictures from two weeks ago when we had our staff meeting at the Hovan Mediterranean Gourmet in 5 Points (2005 Park Street). We really had a great time. Hovan has perfect outdoor seating right in the middle of all the action in 5 Points and they have a great happy hour with 2-4-1 beer; Domestics for $2.50 and Imports for $3.50. THATS $1.25 PER MICH ULTRA!! The group ordered the basics, falafel, kibbeh, hummus with meat, fatoosh and Mediterranean salads. It was all excellent and the prices were pretty spot on. Take a look at all the delicious food....





Monday, February 23, 2009
Stars
A couple of Jacksonville Confidential staff members weaseled their way into a local ad. Check out Robyn and David in this advertisement for European Street. The scan below was ripped right out of the Where Guestbook. Forever immortalized in print!

Spotted
Holy Effin Sh*t!! Take a look at who Jason, Mark, and Robyn spotted entering the Hair Flair Salon in Mandarin on Saturday carrying a blow dryer and a power strip. None-other-than Oscar hopeful Mickey Rourke, who must be researching for a new role as a hairstylist. We couldn't really think of any other reason for him to be in Jacksonville working in a hair salon. See....



Grant Thornton Original iPhone Case
Our Editor, Jason, is pleased to be the very first owner of a Grant Thornton Original iPhone case. The idea arose when Jason couldn't get his (fairly) new White Feather Case (by INCIPIO) for his iPhone 3G clean enough and didn't want to have to shell out another $25 for the same case (which he loves). So, after a few beers at Kickbacks Jason and Grant had a collective brainstorm to just paint the darn thing. The case was passed over to the artist with just a few simple instructions (such as, I like blue, and I love your painting with the Flying Saucers) and after a few short days the piece was ready, and it looks FANTASTIC. We've convinced Grant to do a few more to put on display and for sale at (hopefully) the next ArtWalk. Take a look at the masterpiece below and be on the lookout for tons more details about how you can get your very own Grant Thornton Original iPhone Case in the very near future.

Engrish
By far the most awesome Oscar acceptance speech of all time. Check out Kunio Kato's acceptance speech last night for "Best Animated Short Film" for his piece, La Maison en Petits Cubes. Hirarious!
And the Winners are.....
There's no doubt that everyone's standing around the coffee pot or water cooler this morning gabbing about last nights Academy Awards and we don't want any of you guys out of the loop. So, without further adieu, we present to you, last nights' Oscar winners... We were elated to see Sean Penn nab the "Best Actor" award for Milk, he totally deserved that. Which awards do you guys think were deserved and which ones were not?Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire
Actor in a Leading Role: Sean Penn, Milk
Actress in a Leading Role: Kate Winslet, The Reader
Actor in a Supporting Role: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Actress in a Supporting Role: Penélope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Director: Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire
Original Screenplay: Dustin Lance Black, Milk
Adapted Screenplay: Simon Beaufoy, Slumdog Millionaire
Animated Feature Film: WALL-E
Foreign Language Film: Departures (Japan)
Original Score: A.R. Rahman, Slumdog Millionaire
Original Song: "Jai Ho," A.R. Rahman and Gulzar; Slumdog Millionaire
Art Direction: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Cinematography: Slumdog Millionaire
Costume Design: The Duchess
Makeup: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Film Editing: Slumdog Millionaire
Documentary Feature: Man on Wire
Documentary Short Subject: Smile Pinki
Animated Short Film: La Maison en Petits Cubes
Live Action Short Film: Spielzeugland (Toyland)
Sound Editing: The Dark Knight
Sound Mixing: Slumdog Millionaire
Visual Effects: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award: Jerry Lewis

Friday, February 20, 2009
unbeWEAVEable!
Like BAM! Check out this awesome clip featuring Kansas City, Missouri's newest super hero, Briana Bond. What is her super power you ask? Girl has an indestructible weave, NO LIE! Just watch....
Thursday, February 19, 2009
New Futurama Movie and Possible Season
Nerd Alert! Nerd Alert! Yes, we LOVE the animated series Futurama that, much like Family Guy, has been canceled from television and then brought back thanks to audience demand. In between seasons there have also been a few Futurama feature films. We just got done watching the newest in the movie series, Into The Wild Green Yonder, and it was as entertaining as ever. Billy West, who voices the majority of characters for the show, was interviewed at SuperCon in South Florida earlier this week while promoting the new movie and revealed some fantastic news...FOX is in talks with the producers of Futurama to bring the series back for, yet another, season...making a total of 6! Here's the interview...
I Hate Being Tyra - GAY
Yesterdays Tyra was, as usual, effin retarded. The shows title was "I Hate Being Gay" and Tyra had 3 gay guys on the show who despise their sexuality (yet still talk with lisps and dress like fags). Honestly, the most ignorant people in the US had to be attending yesterdays show. Just look at the audience, listen to their stupid ass questions. Then, listen to the equally dumb answers and watch as Tyra looks on in amazement. Oh geez, here's the whole episode.Shane says, "Gay people are disgusting and weak".
Greg says, "I am terrified of gay people".
Mark says, "Homosexuality is a shameful disorder".
The Jacksonville Backyard BBQ Championships
Get ready for the Jacksonville Backyard BBQ Championships this coming May 16th. It's an amateur BBQ contest and fundraiser for the Glyn Cook Memorial Scholarship for Daniel Kids. Registration will be $100 for each BBQ team starting March 2. Tickets to attend the barbecue will be on sale for $10 (in advance) starting in April. The event will be held at Firefighter Hall (I-10 and Stockton Street, across the street from the firefighter tower). We will tell you how you can register and buy tickets as soon as more information becomes available. In the meantime here's the gist:

The Pet Shops at The Brit Awards
Last night were The Brit Awards, the British version of The Grammys, and one of our favorite (and gayest) groups ever won the coveted Outstanding Contribution to Music award. The Pet Shop Boys. Check out the shows closing performance of a 9 minute medley by the Pet Shop Boys featuring Lady Gaga and Brandon Flowers. The boys also have a brand new album coming out on March 23rd called Yes. Yes please!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Oscar Party
5 Points Theatre is hosting the Jacksonville Film Festival's Oscar Party this Sunday, February 22nd, starting at 7 pm. There will be complimentary food and drinks from sponsors including Bacardi, Bold City Beer, Havana Jax, and others. Tickets are $25 in advance, and $35 at the door, with proceeds to benefit the Jacksonville Film Festival. You can purchase tickets online here. If you enter the code "5points" you'll get a 25% discount!

Lesbian Vampire Killers
"Their women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires thanks to an ancient curse, the remaining menfolk of a rural Welsh town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice."
Lesbian Vampire Killers looks to be a hilariously bad horror flick the likes of Sean of the Dead, starring BBC Channel staples James Corden and Mathew Horne. Check out the full length trailer for Lesbian Vampire Killers below.
Oh, and by the way, Mathew and James also have a new BBC Channel show coming out soon called Horne and Corden that's sure to be a riot, click the hyper-link for more info on that.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Super Gay
This just in from our News Room Chief Mark! There is a new "Mens Sex Club" opening up soon here in Jacksonville. It's all according to this link to a Craigs List post on the subject. We've also taken a screen grab of the ad just in case it has been removed by the time you read this. We have a few questions. How is this legal? What does this mean for Club Jacksonville in San Marco? Where is this new club going to be located? If anyone knows the answers to any of these questions, let us know! In the meantime, we will have Mark constantly checking Craigs List for updates.

Double Stack
Did anyone happen to hear about yesterdays odd car accident in Avondale at the corner of St. Johns and Challen Avenues? Apparently, somehow, a car ended up on another car. According to Jacksonville Confidential reader Scott, no one was injured in the accident. Thanks for sending over the scoop with a couple of pics, great job Scott.

Friday, February 13, 2009
Snuggie in Action - Continued
We're afraid to say that it's becoming a freaking trend. Yet another instance of people wearing Snuggies at work. This time it's a man (AKA The Snuggie Nazi) and he's doing some sort of HAIL HITLER! move. Keep it classy and keep em coming.

Separated at Birth
One of our long-time faithful readers sent us over a pic that he took while at a Golden Corral restaurant (YUCK) last night of Madonna's most recent ex and film producer Guy Ritchie. WTF is he doing at Golden Corral? She must've really put him through the ringer in the divorce.

Anti-Valentine Bike Ride
This Sunday, February 15th, is the 3rd annual Broken Hearts Brigade Anti-Valentine Bike Ride at 2PM. Bikers will meet in front of Starlite in 5 Points and then trek through Riverside. As you can see on the flier below, everyone can attend, but if you're a guy you must wear a skirt for the ride. We encourage you skirt-wearing men to go commando, we'll be watching.

Thursday, February 12, 2009
Snuggie in Action
We can't tell you who sent us this pic, who took the picture, or where it was taken because the poor woman who is wearing this blue Snuggie has no clue that her picture was taken (hence the blurred out head). Just know that there is yet another great reason to buy a Snuggie...to look like a dork in front of your co-workers.

Coupon Frenzy

Be sure to take a good look at the recent Mint Magazine that should be making it's way to your mailbox real soon. Jacksonville Confidential reader Tony spotted 3 new restaurants taking part in the Mint Magazine's coupon frenzy, Matthews, Cafe Carmon, and Bistro AIX. This has to be a first for all three of these establishments and is truly a sign of these hard economic times. Take a gander.



Thanks a bunch to Tony for the heads up and the scans.
Angels & Demons Trailer
So, yeah, The Davinci Code movie was nowhere near as good as the book, but it was still enjoyable. We hope that the follow-up, Angels & Demons, will fare better than its predecessor. The teaser trailer shown during the Super Bowl was pretty lame and obviously the promoters of the film were aware. Check out the updated preview (below) that is much more exciting and fast-paced.
Penny Ban at European Street
Picketers were just spotted in front of the European Street Cafe on Park Street. The well-known eatery is banning the penny starting today and every Tuesday henceforth. Here's more information from today's Times-Union Business section - And the penny ban won’t stop after Thursday. Cashiers won’t take or give pennies for cash transactions every Tuesday thereafter, said Billy Speckman, European Street restaurant manager and marketing manager. Speckman said he’d like to ban the penny every day, but restaurant co-owner Andy Zarka favors the more conservative, test balloon approach. Speckman said he expects customer response to favor banning the penny full-time at the restaurant. All cash transactions will be rounded down to the nearest nickel, in the customer’s favor, Speckman said. If a customer has a food bill of $9.92, for example, the tab, if paid in cash, will be $9.90. Likewise, if it’s $9.94, it will be $9.90. But purchases paid with credit or debit will be charged at face value because no change is taken or given, he said.... Speckman also has a plan for the $5 bill, which Lincoln also adorns. In conjunction with the penny promotion starting Thursday, European Street will offer a 5 percent discount to any cash-paying customer who pays only in $5 bills...." You can Click Here to read the full story and scroll down to check out a few pics taken by one of our more diligent staff members, Mikey."The management of European Street in Riverside has devised a novel way to celebrate President Abraham Lincoln’s birthday Thursday: they won’t accept the penny as part of payment.







Inglorious Bastards - Trailer
How much do we love Quentin Tarantino? Let us count the ways. We are super stoked about his upcoming movie, Inglorious Bastards, starring Brad Pitt, Mike Myers, BJ Novak, Samuel L. Jackson, and quite a few other notable faces. Here's a short synopsis from IMDB - There's sure to be tons of guts and gore in true Tarantino fashion. The film drops August 21st, in the meantime check out the trailer."During World War II a group of Jewish-American soldiers known as "The Bastards" are chosen specifically to spread fear throughout the Third Reich by scalping and brutally killing Nazis. The Bastards soon cross paths with a French-Jewish teenage girl who runs a movie theater in Paris which is targeted by the soldiers."
The Osbournes Reloaded
Television certainly will never be the same again. Ozzy, Sharon, Jack, and Kelly Osbourne are all back together again for yet another TV show. This time it's their own "variety" style show called The Osbournes Reloaded and will include musical performances, candid camera-like hi jinks, and stupid audience participation segments. Seriously, this has got to be as bad as it's going to get, right? We're so ready for the return of the sitcom. Here's a preview of the upcoming train wreck that will be, of course, on Fox. The air dates have yet to be announced.
So Gay
Just watch this Public Service Announcement from the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), it's so effin gay.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Cell Phone Reunion
This Cell Phone Reunion video from College Humor is so amusing and totally true. Check it.
Tokyo Dance Trooper
There's just something about Japanese people, Star Wars Stormtroopers, and dance music that we love. This put a smile on our faces....we present to you the Tokyo Dance Trooper. Hirarious!
Weird N Ghetto Day '09
WTF is this shiz? Some guy named Los2K6 has posted this "episode" of Weird N Ghetto Day '09 on YouTube. It stars Los, Cool Phil, Jr. Tech, Swag, E-Z, Troy, J-Balla, Cedrick, and Florida Boi all from Jacksonville and features tons of footage from the Northside and Gateway sections of town. The title of the video says it all. Los, you had us at scrambled eggs and fruit punch for breakfast (with a side of waffles, of course).
Fuel in 5 Points is CLOSED!
The rumors were swirling for weeks and we've received a plethora of e-mails regarding the current state of 5 Points central venue Fuel Coffee House and it is with great remorse that we have to report (and it's confirmed) that the business has closed for good. We hear that there is already a new tenant, but we have no idea what the tenants plans are for the space. If you click over to the Fuel Coffee House Website, this is all that remains of the site.

National Freedom to Marry Day
Tomorrow marks the 12th Anniversary of National Freedom to Marry Day supporting the right to gay marriage. Merge Jacksonville is planning an event/gathering at the Duval County Courthouse in Room 101 tomorrow at an unspecified time (their announcement wasn't time specific, we assume this is an all day affair). According to Merge - If you feel so inclined, stop by the Duval County Courthouse located at 330 East Bay Street Downtown and make your voice heard.".....same-sex couples will request marriage licenses at their local County Clerk’s Offices to raise awareness of the harms and impact the inability to marry causes on their families."








